I have so many things on my mind all the time. Sometimes I feel like my mind is in overdrive and I just want to shut it off all together. Got to do this, need to do that, haven't done this, need to go here, etc, etc. I never feel like I have accomplished all I need to accomplish when I lay my head down at night. I am always thinking of things that I didn't do, or should have done and then plop, I am so tired I am asleep in 2 seconds! Lately, I have came to the conclusion that some things are more important than others. You should see the pile of coats, and jackets that have accumulated on the back of the couch by the front door. They almost made it to the coat closet to be hung up and then I thought, this is where you are going for now, got better things to do! If you only knew how I use to obsess over cleaning my house you would be amazed at how much I have changed. I would sweep probably 6 times a day, and mop 2 or 3 times a day, and now... I am lucky to mop once a week! I have reached a time in my life where I want to live in the day. I am so sick of letting crazy little things get in my way. Reading my friends blog today, it really sank in. I have been saying that I am going to surrender all to God, and be of use for Him whatever that is but I really haven't done that 100%. Things are still not freely open to drop everything and do His will. I keep thinking, what if He wants our family to be missionaries, are we ready to up and go? No, we are not. Sometimes I think, maybe we should take all the things that we love so much and get rid of them, so those things don't consume us! For instance, our home, Eve's gymnastics, they are both things that consume most of our money and time. Should we get rid of the things that might be holding us back? Eve's gymnastics is very time consuming with her being on the team, and sometimes I feel like it takes priority over other things that we could be doing. Does this make sense? I don't want to take something that she loves so much from her though. She has worked so hard to get where she is. I know I am rambling but this is just got to come out. Last night before church I was in the bedroom closet looking for my other shoe and I about started crying. Yeah, over a shoe. I started fussing to myself and then when I walked into the hallway Jason was standing there laughing. I get so frustrated because every Wednesday night it is so hectic and hard for us to get to church. The devil does all he can do to prevent us from going. Someones sick, we have practices, we have meetings, etc. Does he do that to you and your family?
So my point of all this rambling is.... today I think I am going to live today. Make the best out of today and quit worrying about tomorrow. Quit worrying about what I should have done and just do all I can to make it worthwhile. Open my mind, free my heart so I can be susceptible to what God might show me. Get all that clutter out so I can have a free spot open for Him to come right in. So what if my house is cluttered right now, or we are in debt, bc as long as my heart is clutter free and debt free, I will be good to go!
Can you pray for us that God will show us what we need to get rid of to do a better job as His servants? Can you pray for us that we will have an open heart and mind so we can see what He is showing us? I can't do this without your prayers. I need them more than ever!
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