I'm going to put myself out there a bit here, but bear with me. I want to know what people think about a 10 year old training 17 1/2 hours a week. I see nothing wrong with it as long as it's what she wants to do and can keep up with her grades as well. As long as she loves what she is doing I will be her taxi. As long as she doesn't mind having aching joints, back pain, bruising, and no free time (even on Saturday mornings) and loves what she is doing, I will take her. BUT...I get snares, looks and people who think that it's us pushing her so this is for that. Here you go...
I have big dreams for my child. I'd love to see her progress and be a fantastic, high level gymnast. I'd love to see her score high, be a top gymnast in the area, etc. Would I love to see her become an elite level gymnast - I think so, but that is just not going to be in the picture.I just want her to learn the skills that she wants to learn and do her best in all she does! So yes, if I fork out money all the time and back her up in her dreams then I will remind her that she needs to do her best just like in school and don't just do it to say she is doing it. Make sense?
That being said, I would never push her beyond her comfort, put pressure on her, make her feel "not good enough", etc. I would never punish for low scores, force her to stay in a sport she was done with, or force practices beyond what she could handle. I will always tell her how wonderful she did (assuming she tried her best), how much I love her, what a great little person she is, etc. She will try other sports and have plenty of other opportunities as time/finances allow and she wants.
I hear/see comments so often that are something along the lines of, "she is only 10". As long as the parent isn't pushing their hopes/dreams onto their child, putting too much pressure, or forcing the sport in one way or another on their child (extra practices, home practice, etc) - what is so wrong with wanting big things for your child? Or hoping that your child will be "that one", even though you know they likely will not be. I know a lot of parents can't separate the two and the hopes & dreams lead to pressure & burn out, but what about those of us who can?
What's so wrong with wondering how your child measures up (in general, obviously kids peak at different ages)? Or looking for a program that might push your child a little more (assuming your child is one that can handle it/desires it and that it isn't TOO MUCH)? Or even just talking to friends/family/other gym parents about your dreams and aspirations for your child?
I dunno....maybe I've said too much and changed every body's opinion of me. Maybe you'll all classify me as a "pushy parent" now. I just think that there's nothing wrong with dreaming that your child will someday be an all around great gymnast, or wanting them to be "the best THEY can be" as long as you aren't forcing those dreams on the child or pushing them in a way that hurts their self esteem and/or causes burnout.
I hear all the time "she's only 10, or WOW that's a lot of time!" Just because a parent talks about their child and the sport that their in doesn't mean they are actually putting pressure on the child and I think the conversation deserves a response without judgment or a glare. I often am just proud of my child just like anyone would be when their child does good on something. I am a proud Mom when she is raving and thrilled when I pick her up that she got her layout on bars, or her round off backhandspring backtuck on floor. She has been working hard to get them and deserves to have a mom who is proud! :)
I hope this all makes sense and that I've expressed myself well..... I promise I'm very easy to get along with, hate confrontation, and have a little to no pressure household. Eve is my oldest so this is new to me. We have a long journey ahead. You hear from various people that your child is talented, fast, strong, etc...it's exciting. You wonder where will they really excel...and a coach recommends your child move up to an advanced level...even more exciting. You want them to do well. You want to make sure you are doing everything you can to support them doing their best. But at the same time, balancing things so you don't become "that mom". It's hard.
I have big dreams for my child. I'd love to see her progress and be a fantastic, high level gymnast. I'd love to see her score high, be a top gymnast in the area, etc. Would I love to see her become an elite level gymnast - I think so, but that is just not going to be in the picture.I just want her to learn the skills that she wants to learn and do her best in all she does! So yes, if I fork out money all the time and back her up in her dreams then I will remind her that she needs to do her best just like in school and don't just do it to say she is doing it. Make sense?
That being said, I would never push her beyond her comfort, put pressure on her, make her feel "not good enough", etc. I would never punish for low scores, force her to stay in a sport she was done with, or force practices beyond what she could handle. I will always tell her how wonderful she did (assuming she tried her best), how much I love her, what a great little person she is, etc. She will try other sports and have plenty of other opportunities as time/finances allow and she wants.
I hear/see comments so often that are something along the lines of, "she is only 10". As long as the parent isn't pushing their hopes/dreams onto their child, putting too much pressure, or forcing the sport in one way or another on their child (extra practices, home practice, etc) - what is so wrong with wanting big things for your child? Or hoping that your child will be "that one", even though you know they likely will not be. I know a lot of parents can't separate the two and the hopes & dreams lead to pressure & burn out, but what about those of us who can?
What's so wrong with wondering how your child measures up (in general, obviously kids peak at different ages)? Or looking for a program that might push your child a little more (assuming your child is one that can handle it/desires it and that it isn't TOO MUCH)? Or even just talking to friends/family/other gym parents about your dreams and aspirations for your child?
I dunno....maybe I've said too much and changed every body's opinion of me. Maybe you'll all classify me as a "pushy parent" now. I just think that there's nothing wrong with dreaming that your child will someday be an all around great gymnast, or wanting them to be "the best THEY can be" as long as you aren't forcing those dreams on the child or pushing them in a way that hurts their self esteem and/or causes burnout.
I hear all the time "she's only 10, or WOW that's a lot of time!" Just because a parent talks about their child and the sport that their in doesn't mean they are actually putting pressure on the child and I think the conversation deserves a response without judgment or a glare. I often am just proud of my child just like anyone would be when their child does good on something. I am a proud Mom when she is raving and thrilled when I pick her up that she got her layout on bars, or her round off backhandspring backtuck on floor. She has been working hard to get them and deserves to have a mom who is proud! :)
I hope this all makes sense and that I've expressed myself well..... I promise I'm very easy to get along with, hate confrontation, and have a little to no pressure household. Eve is my oldest so this is new to me. We have a long journey ahead. You hear from various people that your child is talented, fast, strong, etc...it's exciting. You wonder where will they really excel...and a coach recommends your child move up to an advanced level...even more exciting. You want them to do well. You want to make sure you are doing everything you can to support them doing their best. But at the same time, balancing things so you don't become "that mom". It's hard.
I think some things will come with time. It is great advice for people with older children who are competing to say "let it be their sport" but when you have a 10 year old, you are deciding for them what they do. Sure, I ask her if she wants to go, but I am the one who started her in gymnastics...if I hadn't suggested it, she wouldn't even know about it yet. You need to go with your gut that they seem happy doing it. We can also decide that they aren't doing it.
I think the constant reminders to be "the most laid back, content gym parent ever" are fine....but I think that goes for every sport. Parents at baseball, football, hockey,cheer....every sport has it's crazy parents .
There is nothing wrong with wanting the best for your child, and maybe even believing your kid has a great future. It can happen.
I am just trying to constantly remind myself to take this one step at a time. She may or may not be the best in her group but as long as she still wants to go and we can afford it, she will. But also know that at some point she may like another sport better, ...and also reminding myself that gymnastics is a great base for everything. ;)
I think you will know what's best for your children and for your family. If everybody's happy at your house, don't worry about what someone else thinks!
ReplyDeleteKathy G.